Can somebody please look
into my plight and talk to me; if I’m wrong, castigate me and if I am right, vindicate
me? My reason for writing this mail is not to be justified but to be counsel on
how to save my marriage and get my husband back to our matrimonial home so that
my three children will once again play and dance with their dad.
My name is Minie Salem, a
Christian. I am from the Republic of Niger and my husband, Syl is from Chad. We
met ten years ago in Chad and have been married for eight years now. Syl, is an
auto repairer and I am a journalist.
My meeting with Syl was
miraculous; my friends and I were on sight-seeing in Chad when our car broke
down in a dark and raining night – and like an angel, Syl, driving an old
Peugeot 505 stopped by to assist. We were so grateful that we visited his auto
repair garage the next day, There, our friendship clicked and as we talked, we discovered
our common interests.
Syl being a devoted
Christian invited us to his church which we attended the following Sunday; his
pastor and church members were accommodating and Syl as a praise and worship
leader was phenomenal.
To cut the long story short,
we have been married since 2007 and we have been blessed with three beautiful
children, June (boy 6 years old), and my girls, Joan (4) and Judith (1).
After our wedding, I was
able to convince Syl of the prospects in my native country but since we
relocated, he is yet to find his footings and more often than not, I have been
the one providing a larger percentage of what keeps the family going
financially but my hubby is a hardworking man; it’s just that his meager income
cannot go round as he wished.
Recently, I got a job with
additional benefits but with a heavy toll on the whole family; I have to work
longer hours, travel a lot and sometimes, Sunday services would have to be
sacrificed for weekend demands.
My children missed the love
of their mom – their meals are now quick-fix. My last daughter, Judith, who
still suck breast have to wait till I come back before she could balance her
daily diets.
Syl has been so supportive –
he does most of the house chores; cooking, laundry, taking the children to
school, picking them up, and preparing our meals – but as he engages in those
activities, his work takes the back seat because of the children’s needs and
family pressure.
For a while, we have been
planning to leave our apartment for a bigger one in a more civilized environment
and recently, I have been able to save enough and raise loans to secure an
affordable and beautiful apartment in a more serene community but Syl, after we
have moved all our possessions decided not to move with the family. Instead, he
rented a room cabin somewhere close to his workshop and there he now bunks.
He has been complaining a
lot; either of making him relocate without making proper findings or using him
as a baby-sitter. God knows I have only been trying to help. I want better life
for the whole family. My belief is that if I should fail to utilize the I now
have, I may have myself to blame sometimes in the future.
As a matter of honesty, he
still pays the children’s school fees as he’s bent on not changing their
schools yet. He still keep tab on the kids and helps with their school works
but what baffles me is the fact that he won’t sleep in the apartment I rented
and I can’t understand what destructive man’s ego that is.
Truly speaking, I will like
to keep my job because it makes me happy and it is a fulfillment of my dreams –
it elevates me and enables me do some things I have always desired and sharpens
my self-esteem, yet I don’t want to lose my family. Help me friends; what do I
do to save my marriage?
No comments:
Post a Comment