In
the mid 90’s, I started a vibrant partnership with a friend; the kiddies/entertainment business was
thriving until I decided to opt out. ‘Why?’ you may think. My partner was a
professional complainer – he always looked out for something to criticise in
everything. Although, his parents pumped so much into the business but I
brought my professional abilities and managerial skills into it – and I never
charged a farthing for those contributions.
Whenever
we talked about anything, he reminded me about his capital. He harassed the workers
with sack; not minding their late night sacrifices – investing so much for so
little, traveling risks without insurance and unquantifiable endurance.
One
fateful Monday morning, I couldn’t bear it any longer; I called a staff meeting
and told everybody I was leaving by Friday. We checked the books and found
everything intact. I left as scheduled but the business did not last 3 months
after then. My friend’s capital couldn’t run the office, keep the staffs, or satisfy
the customers. Did I go into a parallel business? No! I moved into something
totally different – teaching and writing – so as not to look like a
competition.
Complain
cannot build anything strong and it can destroy any good relationship that
takes years to build in a twinkle of an eye – and today I write to the
following people;
1.
Employers – You cannot do all
the works by yourself. Even if the workers make mistakes, find a way to correct
them without being overly critical knowing fully well that no man is infallible
and everybody is capable of blowing-up opportunities.
2.
Parents – The Bible speaks to
this set of people saying, “Do not provoke your children to anger!” When you
grumble about the way they do things, dress, walk or perform in class too much,
they stop trying. Your grumbling can kill their self-esteem and creativity. Complain
can turn kids into hermits, not wanting to have anything to do with their
parents.
3.
Siblings – Do not hurt your
brother or sister with the word of your mouth. Most families today have been
destroyed because somebody believed I can say it all. Stop there! Nobody has
the moral right among the siblings to keep pouring or pointing out the mistakes
of others. We all have our faults; no sibling is a saint – and if care is not
taken; the members of the family would have become sworn-enemies because
somebody cannot swallow bitter pills or accept being a foot-mat for others.
4.
Customers – In a buyer-seller
relationship, complaining is called grouchy or yelling. Most customers do not
realise the favour the seller does by selling or offering the services – and more
often than not, we destroy a good relationship by looking down on a seller. I
once saw a young lady of about twenty talked harshly to a cashier in a banking
hall and many times in restaurants, I see patrons treat waiters like nobody.
You know what this makes a client look like, ‘a thorn in the butt’ and they are sometimes referred to as cantankerous.
If you are in the habit of yelling on those offering services or selling to
you, the important thing you are throwing away is the ability to get them at
your beck-and-call at odd hours and you may be denying yourself access to
credit facilities as the case may be.
5.
Friends – Nothing destroys
friendship faster than complain. It results in hatred and division. When you
are in the habit of complaining, you can easily trip into gossiping.
6.
Spouses – Complain, popularly
called nagging in marriage circle is one of the major reasons why bitterness
that leads to fighting, quarrelling, malice and eventually divorce emanates.
In
as much as I cannot encourage bottling-up your anger or accepting every trash
until you are turned into a garbage bin – I advise you to find a means of
airing your view without being critical.
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