Identity

 

A farmer once took home a lion’s cub and reared him with the herd of his goats and sheep – and so was the cub’s mindset taken away; he never realised his potentials till he grew up.

Instead of roaring, he would bleat ... Instead of demonstrating royalty, he was foolish like a sheep ... Instead of being elegant, he was shabby ... Instead of exhibiting prowess, he was stubborn like goats.

Over and over, another lion in the community would come and terrorise the herd and all the animals would run away from the predator but one day, this farmer’s lion went to the stream to lap water when he saw the reflection of himself. At first he was jittery, thinking that the predator was about to pounce on him but with further experiments and closer examinations, he realised he was looking at himself – then he discovered who he was ... A LION; neither a sheep nor a goat.

After that experience, the terror lion appeared and as other animals escaped for their dear lives ... he roared back at the unfriendly predator. They roared at each other ... and he realised, he was not created to roam but to roar as wild cat. So he left the herd and followed his kind. He was a king of the jungle.

Your identity defines and repositions you. Your identity tells the world your personality and shows your ability.

What is your identity? For as long as Jacob saw himself as a fraudster, he remained a fugitive and until Gideon realised he was a mighty Warrior, he kept hiding in ignorance. Until you realise your individuality, you cannot accept your responsibility or celebrate your characteristics. You are unique!

Who are you? You are a Prince(ss) of God – your father owns the heaven and earth. Even the Prince(ss) of this world will not at any time fight on the street, dress shabbily or try to prove their worth to anyone because they know who they are.

Jesus knew who He was ... He says, “I Am the Way, the Truth and the Life.” Do you know who you are?

Evaluation:

How have you let circumstances, medicine, economy or people define your identity?

What have you reduced yourself to by accepting the world’s appellations?

All things supplied; what will you prefer to be called?

Compare:

“But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvellous light.” 2 Peter 2:9

The Power of Decision

Jesus whilst He was barely 12 years old asked His parents, “Don’t you know I must be about My Father’s business?” I am not surprised that before His crucifixion at 33, He had achieved a record that nobody can break till the end comes.

It is not that many of us are not determined enough; it is just that we lack decisions that prompt actions. We dream and procrastinate. We fantasize on lofty ideas without making any move – and a good idea without a corresponding action is as good as nothing.

A man who decides to be in Lagos Island by 8 am and set on a journey by 5 am will not only meet-up with his appointments, he will also return home on time. His endeavour for the day will be better than that of the man who is contemplating whether to go or not – who may find an excuse in the weather or traffic. 

What have you been pushing aside? You may not have the capabilities to start a big venture for now but you can still do a small venture in a big way. For example, if your plan is to pastor a mega-church – and the reality seems to be far away. Tomorrow morning, preach in the bus on your way to work or go to the nearest park and talk to the people there. Don’t forget that God actually promises, “If you get to the crossroad and you don’t know the next turn to take, you will hear a voice behind you saying this is the way walk in it.” He didn’t say, ‘Sit down and pray until you have clear understanding of the way to follow.’

Stop chasing nuggets ... being rich is not being fulfilled. Your future lies in your dream. Your prosperity is determined by the potency of your decisions. You are where you are at this moment because of the decisions you made in the past and you may still be in the same position if you do not make a progressive decision today.

The Bible is a comprehensive book comprising the stories of ordinary people like me and you performing extraordinary feats. Your life begins now but you’ve got to make a drastic decision NOW !

Before you sleep tonight ...

List all the things you have been shoving aside

Write your plans for tomorrow and put a time limit on each

Think about an easiest way to get yourself on the track for greatness.

May the Lord bless your mind in the mighty name of Jesus >>> Yomi-Abayomi

The Making of an Iron Butterfly; Mercy Alexander, MD/CEO, D’Gallery TV

Extremely few are the women who boldly pound their chests where most men cower. Mercy Alexander is one of those few amazons who has also taken her exploits to an extra mile; she can venture into and single-handedly conquer any field that twenty men cannot together plough within the same stipulated time. 

Mercy’s journey to the citadel baffles many doubters, but her footprint on each rung of the ladder signifies that she did not only walk her way up the ladder, she also worked her way through without missing her lessons or wasting the experience.

Many of her friends, due to her strength and business acumen, call her Lady Jagaban – and this profile showcases the life of a lady who, initially, had no chance but who with determination, resiliency and focus is today dominating territories, championing courses – and winning all, because failure to her is a step further, an opportunity to dig deeper.

Personality 

Mercy Alexander is a Nigerian talk show host, media personality, actress and philanthropist.  Mercy is best known for her talk show, D’ Gallery Show, broadcast from NTA 2 Channel 5, Lagos – and the show has been running for almost ten years – since 2013.  

Mercy, a Multi-talented winner of many awards is one of the most influential women in the media industry.

Early Childhood

Born as Mercy in a thick village forest and poverty stricken region in Delta State, Nigeria. Her father, Late Alexander Osuya was a retired soldier in the Nigeria Army and later, a travelling oil marketer and truck driver working with a private firm, ABM.  He hailed from Ukwuani LGA of Delta State whilst her mother was from Kalabari, Bakana in Rivers State.

Mercy spent more time in the wilderness of Delta State, schooling, trading and farming, but despite being enshrouded in a thick hopeless darkness of the environment, she ensured her light never grew dim, she believed it will dispel whatever darkness.

Lady Jagaban has always being an optimist, she said to herself and her aunt repeatedly whenever she saw aeroplanes passed in their village, pointing upward to the sky, “Nne, I will be flying in that thing,” and at every opportunity she had watching TV, she would say to herself, “I will be in that tube.”  She was a dreamer. She has always enjoyed the company of herself, because aloneness enhances her ability to dream big.

Education

Mercy Alexander started her educational career at Army Children’s School, Gombe in the old Bauchi State and when her dad was transferred to Lagos, Mercy was moved down to the village to stay with her aunt, and was transferred to Etio Primary School to continue her studies ... and due to persistent movements of her dad, she attended several schools.

 Army Children’s School, Gombe, Gombe State

 Etio Primary School, Umutu, Delta State

 Ufuoma Primary School, Sapele, Delta State 

 Aunty Lynn Private School, Umutu, Delta State.

 Imola Comprehensive High School, off College Road, Agege, Lagos State

 University of Bamako, Mali, West Africa, for a Proficiency Training in Theatre Arts.

 PEFTI School, Oshodi, Lagos, Nigeria, Formal Training in Acting

Sojourning to Greater Height

In the year 2002, Lady Jagaban decided to bring her dream into limelight. She left her village with her neighbourhood friend who had two sisters in Europe, Spain and Germany. Their plan was to travel to Europe by road in search of greener pastures but on reaching Mali, they hit a fence. The opportunity they thought was an easy ride was not even available, just like a mirage, but Mercy being a dreamer conjured a way out.  

Her charisma led her to a kind-hearted family (parents) that adopted her and sponsored her for a Proficiency Training in Theatre Arts at the University of Bamako in Mali – and in Gao community where she resided in Mali, she contested and won a third place in Miss Gao Beauty Pageant.

Mercy after completing the training and realising that Nollywood was growing large and becoming a cash-cow for actors and movie stakeholders, decided to return home and seize the moment. 

She returned to Nigeria and started going for various auditions without success – as she was not given lines, saved few extra roles she won in Yoruba genre where she could have blossomed if not for language barrier.

Taking another Turn

“The Nigeria I left in 2002 was not the one I met when I returned in 2005 – everything has changed; economy, the people, and the system ... it was so bad. If not for God, I would have caved-in to the situation at hand but I said to myself, ‘He that rides a tiger dares not dismount.’ I went to my village to re-strategise and plan my way for proper exploits.”

Rather than quit, Mercy made her lemon into lemonade, stayed in the village for one year, buying and selling farm produce to make ends meet. She also became a contractor for farmland preparation and cultivation; she would get the contract, hired labourers to do the jobs and sub-contracted others. After raising enough money to pursue her dream to be on the television, she set for Lagos, the Centre of Excellence.

Dominating Lagos with Work Ethics

Mercy started her life in Lagos as a Sales Girl in a supermarket and continued as a marketer until her character and charisma connected her to one Daddy Karim and his family, who encouraged her to go for part-time studies at Lagos State University but after several trials, Mercy concluded, “All I wanted to do was be on the TV, acting.” She went to PEFTI, a cinematography school founded and managed by Mr. Wale Adenuga, owner of WAP TV, with Daddy Karim’s support.

“After graduation, I went for several auditioning, paid my way through but no success from the much talked about Nollywood (English Genre). I could have hit a jackpot with the Yoruba Genre had I been able to speak the language fluently, because their producers are more professional in their dealings than other folks who want gratification. In Yoruba genre, you get the script once you are qualified.”

Languages Spoken

International

English Language (Conversational)

French Language (Limited)

Local

Igbo Language (Conversational)

Yoruba Language (Limited)

Hausa Language (Limited)

Changing the Game

Mercy opted into media and entertainment, by deciding to understudy an entertainer and event organiser that linked him with Mr. Cornel at the Haven Event Centre at Ikeja GRA, Lagos. 

Mercy again volunteered as Cornel’s errand girl, using her own resources to deliver letters and attending events. 

“I kept doing those things because I wanted to learn the rudiments of the game. I wanted to discover the Secret of Success.” She said.

Whilst she was deep in Cornel’s job, she was getting offer from her mentor’s friends in the entertainment industry that contracted her to anchor red carpet for their platforms and events – and from then on, Mercy started realigning her thoughts for the future. 

Major Discovery

Alexander finally carved a niche for herself; she felt the urge to start something in her own name, however small. She wanted something that will outlive her.

“I started mapping out a magazine programme for TV. I needed money, equipments and manpower – especially a presenter. I asked a staff of Galaxy TV to help anchor the programme but she was requesting I pay 200,000 NGN per week.”  The partnership did not work – but Mercy did not give-up.

The Advice that Switched Her Mindset

“One day, in Mr. David Agwazim’s office (Publisher of Classic Magazine), I met Aunty Jane Osamor (Publisher of Fabulous Magazine) who said to me, ‘My dear, your face is beautiful enough for the screen. Be the Face of your Brand. Don’t be afraid of your vocabulary, everything will fall in place over time.’”

She heeded Jane’s advice and set for the next phase.

Birth of D’Gallery TV

The name, D’ Gallery, was inspired via a dream and it started as D’ Gallery Show on MiTV.  

The programme has also been aired on NTA Channel 10 and later NTA 2 Channel 5 highlighting the lifestyles of achievers who have made marks in their various fields – politicians, movie stars, and captains of industries. 

In February 2020, D’ Gallery TV started on the internet, reporting news and covering events and other regular things done by terrestrial stations.

Other Activities Performed By Mercy Alexander

 Furniture: sales and marketing

 Event Planning and Management 

 Hosting and anchoring of events and activities

 Organising shows, events and other social packages

 Consultancy 

Notable People Who Have Appeared on D' Gallery TV Show

1. Dr. Ayodele Fayose, former Ekiti State Governor. “He was and is still very supportive of my vision. He introduced me to several political icons in the PDP.”

2. Pa John Oyegun, former Edo State Governor and former APC National Chairman. “I always call him my daddy because of his fatherly roles. He mentors me, supports me in any way he can. Papa even introduced me to the DG of NTA.”

3. Hon. Captain (Rtd) Yusuf Buba, Representative from Gombi/Hong in Adamawa State Federal Constituency and House Committee Chairman on Foreign Affairs.

4. Mr.Yakubu Ibn Mohammed, NTA DG. “He has being a father and mentor on this journey. He gave me the slot I am using to date and also ensures my programme gains the needed attention. Whenever I have problems, either professionally, technically or business wise, he is always available to offer solutions.”

5. HE Gov. Nyessom Wike. The former Executive Governor of Rivers State. 

6. HE Gov. Seyi Makinde. The Executive Governor of Oyo State

7. Chief Bode George. A notable politician and PDP chieftain.

8. HE Chief Dapo Abiodun, the Executive Governor of Ogun State.

9. HE Ogbeni Rotimi Akeredolu, SAN. The Executive Governor of Ondo State. 

10. Captains of industries

11. Businessmen 

12. Local Government Chairmen 

13. Educationists and Social Analysts

Although the D' Gallery Show was started without sponsors, adverts or supports, today corporate organisations are showcasing their products and services on the show, identifying with the brand.

Act of Generosity

Mercy Alexander is a woman with a golden heart; she will rather break her secret vault than see a fellow man wallow in poverty.  She gives her resources to better the life and circumstances of many less-privileged in the society. 

Her NGO, Mercy Alexander Foundation, cater for the needs of orphans, destitute, less-privileged and the elderly. 

Her Education Empowerment Programme picks wandering kids on the streets, settle them in schools, provide books and stationeries, as well as uniforms and other packages.  Her vision for this initiative is to ensure that every child has basic education.

She also, on her birthdays, gives scholarships to two students and supports the elderly and orphans by visiting homes for such people. 

Faith Booster and Hiding Place

Mercy Alexander is a prayer warrior. She believes so much in the power of prayer.

“Since childhood, maybe because of the uncertainty I had as a child or because of the terrible family line I come from, I pray a lot. I also enjoy dancing to praise songs. It is part and parcel of me.”

Winning Qualities

• Happiness ...  I get angry sometimes but I am always happy.

• Hard Work ... I have been telling myself since my days in the village, ‘Mercy, you have nobody but God – and He won’t come down to assist you. He will use people to assist you but you won’t meet those people by sitting down, doing nothing. You have to get going.’

• Lively ... I can light-up everywhere with my playfulness. I am a lively person. I hardly get moody; even when things aren’t going well with me.

• Positive ... I don’t allow situations to keep me down. If it doesn’t work now, it will work fine later. Everything is working together for my good.

• Optimistic ... I don’t give up on circumstances. I don’t give up on people. I look out for and see the positive sides of things and mankind.

Regrets 

When we look back on our lives, there are certain things we feel we could have done otherwise had the hands of time be turned anti-clockwise.

To Mercy;

1. Though my upbringing ... being raised on the street toughened my skin but I would have loved to be raised in a normal  family setting, a home with daddy, mommy and siblings doing things together. I really missed that fusion ... the chemistry such union bring and that is why I always keep my son close to me.

2. I would have preferred to stay in school like normal pupils and students. The way I was tossed about really affected my education and that is why I hate seeing kids, especially girls, on the street and that is why I always invest my money in them to ensure they have the basic education that will enable them to read and write.

Things She will Never Toy With ...

1) I will never in my life, even if I want to rubbish myself, sleep with a man of God, a pastor. 

2) I will never desist from paying my tithe. I have experienced the wonders of God in different dimension 

Her Dream for the Future

 To have a permanent transmission site for D' Gallery TV

 To build or buy houses for her staffs.

 Get into politics, change the narratives.

Motherhood

Mercy Alexander is a single mother; disciplined and focused. When asked why she is so close to her son, Emmanuel (an undergraduate of Adeleke University, Ede), she replied, 

“We used to quarrel a lot until he understood my principles and reasons. I do not believe in youthful exuberance and juvenile delinquency. I know of parental failure because I could have gone wayward based on my upbringing and if I kept my cool, my son have no excuse for unruly behaviours.” 

Advice to Youths 

• Keep away from unfriendly friends. Don’t mingle with friends who can destroy your future. Learn how to choose your friends. Don’t let your friends choose you.

• Don’t give up on your dream.

• Ladies, do not rely on your beauty. Empower yourself in a skill or vocation so as to make headway in life because beauty can fade, intelligence becomes better over the years.

• Don’t be diabolical. There’s no life without God. If the devil gives you a shoe, he will take your legs.

Hobbies 

• Dancing ... it is my means of exercising.

• Singing ... it takes me to another level of inspiration – especially praise songs; they connect me to God fast. 

• Talking ... discussing with people that inspire me to become more – and that is why I enjoy my work. It links me with people of timber and calibre whose lives are a lesson to me.

• Driving ... it tells me there is no distance, real or perceived, that I cannot cover.

• Dressing well ... Looking good is a good business. You don’t need millions to look fine and presentable. Dressing well builds your confidence. 

Countries Visited

• Ghana for official duty 

• The Gambia for leisure and business 

• South Africa to meet the then Minister for Foreign Affairs.

• United Arab Emirates ... I visited Dubai for consultancy and property business. 

If Mercy Alexander, the Lady Jagaban, was a musical instrument, she would be a trumpet; difficult to play, loud enough to hear and rhythmically appealing to whatever kind of music.

Mercy is a case study, a magnificent heroine, an Amazon, a business Tycoon and a lively and lovely woman – bold, beautiful and brilliant.

MOVE NIGERIA FORWARD PRAYER GROUP HOSTS PRAYER FOR THE COUNTRY

Cross section of church and ministry leaders in attendance 

A prayer coalition group in Ikorodu axis of Lagos State, Nigeria, Move Nigeria Forward Prayer Group, recently held a prayer session for the country - asking God for peaceful coexistence and unity among the tribes in the country.

Move Nigeria Forward Prayer Group is an interdenominational coalition Christian group whose interest solely lies in leading the country spiritually through prayers and fasting and other sundry religious rites.  

According to the President/Founder of the apolitical group, Pastor Michael Kenny Atanda in a speech delivered on the D-day, it reads, "My Curiosity and sense of justice has helped me to discovered the kind of people in the world especially in this part of the world known as NIGERIA; some groups are advisory while others are adversary, some group creates and attracts problem while other creates and attract solution, some group loves Nigeria while other hates Nigeria. The Summary is that those who hate Nigeria gives the President, Governors, the Law-makers and the Judiciaries bad advice that are capable of moving Nigeria backward and downward, but those who truly love Nigeria are fond of giving constructive advice and makes good suggestion to the President, Governors, the Law-makers and Judiciary in order to move Nigeria forward." 

speaking further, Pastor Atanda admonished Nigerians to uphold the unity of the country and challenged every individual to ensure that the development of Nigeria is his or her duty. 

"It is important to know that person or persons inside or outside Nigeria who speaks, writes, sings, acts or pray for the unity, peace and prosperity of Nigeria is considered a friend and a reliable agent of national development and reformation while those who do otherwise are considered as enemies of Nigeria and agents of destruction." He said.

The prayer session that has various denominations - such as CAC, Charismatic and Pentecostal groups, Gospel and evangelistic leaders, Catholic, Cherubim and Seraph movements worshipers and Celestial faithful to mention a few, in Ikorodu area in attendance - had as the day's business, Prayer for the Leaders of the nation with various emphasis and quotes from Bible.

In conclusion, Pastor Michael Atanda counselled President Buhari not to succumb to pressure, "I will advise the Nigerian President not to surrender to pressure from any greedy group of people to make him use the power of the law against other groups of people in Nigeria. Using the power of the law against some Nigerian citizens will tantamount to betrayal of trust and misuse/abuse of mandate given to him by the people."

He also advised the Legislators, the Judiciary, Workers in various strata, the Youth and other stakeholders that Nigeria should be prioritised in theur dealings if we are to uphold Nigeria's honour and glory. 

Unveiling JOSHUA ULOKO – the man made of more and made for more …

Joshua Uloko

Should there be a Nigerian journalist and publisher whose charisma and cha f ć  v 3vracter have paved way for; it is indefatigable Joshua Uloko that everyone refers to as good, humble, helpful and jovial – because he always go out of his way to lend a helping hand, believing that there is a place for everybody at the top. No wonder there was a standing ovation amidst pomp and pageantry when he was announced the Editor of the Year 2017 at the Nigeria Media Nite Award.

Joshua became a Publisher some few days before his 25^th birthday pushing through the crowd, fighting oppressions and militating against resisting factors tagged professionalism syndrome to carve a niche for himself in Security and Crime news where his reportage, views and analysis are considered deep, explicit and exact – to the extent that no security executives or personnel have turned down Joshua’s appointment and those he is yet to talk to are always yearning for his invitation.

How did Joshua Uloko become a Publisher? After graduating from the College of Health Technology, his passion to fight crime drove him into Police Recruitment College but he did not wait till the end of the training session before he left the boot camp as he discovered in a book he was reading that his net-worth in twenty years’ time will be the product of ten-percent of his annual salary multiply by twenty – and when Joshua made the calculation, he concluded, “This is not the place for me!”

Why? Joshua is a man of vision; though ambitious but also tenacious and focus.

On moving out of Police College, he picked his old camera, walked to a photography/colour laboratory in Ikeja area of Lagos State in Nigeria, negotiated for a place to pitch his tent saying, “Sir, I wish to be using your frontage for taking passers-by passport photographs and I will be printing from you.” The Lab Manager considered the offer as a welcome development and from there, Joshua began an enterprise.

Nobody can say how far he can go until he has taken the first step. God stepped-in for Mr. Uloko; one day, a man asked him if he would love to be a Photo-journalist, an entirely different field from what he had learnt or known. He joined the team of Global Excellence Soft-sell Magazine; served diligently and faithfully for five years – but the yearning in him kept telling him, you are made of more and made for more. He resigned his appointment and with the little savings of about 45,000 naira, Joshua started Daily Pride Communications Limited which today publishes City Pride bi-weekly magazine, Daily Pride news journal and Security Burster – and also hosts the annual City Pride Achievers Awards.

Joshua Uloko is an inspiration - - - his story is better interpreted, ‘Do not despise the day of a little beginning!’

My first Visit to Ikoyi axis in Lagos State, Nigeria

In 1986, my good friend, Murphy Gbadamosi and I, went to Hawksworth Road in Ikoyi to buy JAMB form. As soon as we boarded a taxi at Obalende and headed towards the Federal Secretariat at Alagbon axis, I was amazed at what I saw.

 The roads were clean and well tarred. The houses were beautiful and cute. The fences were not too tall but skilfully fabricated and painted. Their lawns were auspiciously manicured. Their cars were sleek and exotic and their manners of dressing were gorgeous and appealing.

Ikoyi was not overcrowded and noisy like Agege where I came from – even the breeze blowing there was like ‘an answered prayer.’ The joy beaming on the faces of the people was extraordinary if compared with the ghetto’s – and their smiles were contagious. The elegance of their gaits was welcoming and the simplicity of their lifestyle was worth emulating.

Wow! I loved every detail of my findings. “Who are the people living here?” I asked.  I discovered they were neither monsters (because they did not have more heads or limbs than those in my neighbourhood) nor were they angels (because they had no wings); they were purely human-beings like those I’d met every day of my life.

Then, why were they so different from those in my neighbourhood? I asked again.  They belonged to the power bloc; the movers and shakers, people of timber and calibre, crème-de-la-crème of the society, the civilised and educated, the elites and affluent, and probably the richest and influencers of Nigerian commerce and industry.

Then, I asked myself the following questions:

·  Why are we not living in a place like this?

I wanted to live in a place like Ikoyi.

·  What can I do to reside in a place like this?

I was willing to pay the expected price.

·  What is the secret of these people living here?

I wish to be among them.

·  Are there any special qualifications to reside in a community like this?

I cannot afford to leave anything to chance.

Over time, I discovered a lot about the exotic people of the highbrow. I knew so much about their glamorous lifestyles. I coveted their associations, desired their companies and after several years of learning, working, serving, watching and growing, I found several other areas that ranked in the class of Ikoyi and met arrays of men and women in the category of Ikoyi residents and I have discovered a simple fact that I have been living with all my life and everywhere I have gone – which is;

From Oregun to Oregon … from Isolo to Oslo … whether in Banjul or Berlin,

Ecuador or Equatorial Guinea, Mushin or Mississippi … the fact remains the same: No community developed on its own; the people with DEVELOPED MIND living in a community are the ones that add value to their communities.

How? If people with ghetto mind are relocated to a highbrow area without proper orientations, they will, within a twinkle of an eye, convert the once beautiful environment to a dirty slum - and if the people with proper orientations living in a highbrow area are relocated to a slum, they will within a short time renovate the once dirty environment into a prim and proper, serene, exotic and expensive estate.

Why? Their mind-sets – and that's the more reason why some areas are cities and others are towns or villages … and countries are rated as developed, developing and under-developed – not because of the availability or non-availability of natural endowments but because they have different priorities.

Is your community or country developed? THE DEVELOPMENT OF YOUR COMMUNITY BEGINS WITH YOU … In this book, you will discover how nobodies became somebodies and it will move you from nowhere to somewhere.

The Perfect Love (part 1)

Love is an intense fondness or deep devotion to someone or relationships or objects. Love is not only in words; it’s an expression, an act … or a deed.  You have heard and read about different love stories including that of Saint Valentine; some are exaggerated and some are diluted, either to hide the truth or to make it romantic – but this is sure; “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. John 3:16 It was prophesied 600 years before it happened – and it is still true many years after it occurred.

Types of Love 

There are different types of love – Eros, Philo and Agape 

Eros, from which the word eroticism or erotic is taken, is a sensual, stimulating, or erogenous type of love. It is majorly expressed through emotional exchange such as sexual intercourse or love making which is not bad for legally married couples but morally and spiritually unfit for unmarried people because it may be pleasurable in the beginning but it will be bitter in the end. Sex outside marriage has an ungodly attachment which may be exploitation, cheating, abuse, disappointment, disgrace, pain, unforgiveness, trap, blackmail, murder – or even death. 

The best way to overcome it is to avoid it and if you have been engrossed in it, stop immediately. Proverbs 6:32 as paraphrased says that anyone who engages in sexual immorality is an utter fool because s/he intentionally destroys his/her own soul. Avoid the trap of fornication (making love when you are not married) or adultery (extra-marital sex, infidelity, betrayal). 

Any partner or friend who loves you will love your soul and if s/he loves your soul, s/he will not pester you with sex. 

The second type of love is Philo, from which the word Philadelphia is coined. It is best interpreted as ‘brotherly or fraternal love.’ Philo is a great kind of love that shares the burden of others. It sympathises and empathises, gives and cares, supports and sponsors, feeds and feels. 

On its bedrock, most families are held together, organisations grow, communities thrive and churches are kept warm. 

Philo is sweet when there is equality in its sharing formula and it is sweeter when it can be reciprocated but it is sweetest when you are the one making the sacrifice because it is more blessed to give than to receive or else, you will become a parasite. It is expected of everyone to practice this type of love – are you? 

The Agape, God’s type of love is the most phenomenal thing that has happened to mankind. It is unconditional, it is free, and it is life – full of joy, filled with hope and peace.

The most beautiful thing about agape is that while Philo is expecting something, agape surrenders all. 

As God surrenders all, He wants us to surrender all. When you show love, let no strings be attached – this is why agape is better than philos. God is love and love is God. 

“And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him.” 

1 John 4:16 

God lives in the hearts of those that care to love. This is true for all eternity; when God’s love overwhelms you, all you want to do is to love in return. Nobody practices the nature of God in him/her if s/he doesn’t know how to love. 

Imagine a boy with a broken leg; if a doctor sets the bone – that is kindness, he only does his job but if the bone is set by his mother - she would do it with lovingkindness, because it takes more. That is how God has dealt with us ... tenderly! 

And that is how we should deal with others.